14 Things You’ll Only Know If You’re a University of Sussex Student

Uni sweet uni, via TheUniPod

Attending the University of Sussex is definitely something that comes with its own set of unique attributes and experiences. Well known for its “hippy-dippy” attitudes, love of all things fair trade and white girls wearing Harem pants – there are some things only a Sussex student can relate to…

Via YouTube

A smug seagull, via YouTube

1. There Is No Escaping The Seagulls

It seems that as a Sussex student, wherever you go you will be subject to Seagulls and I must say, living in constant fear of your food getting snatched away isn’t fun. Many a time have I been sat outside at Falmer Bar, innocently eating my sandwich from The Deli, when I’ve seen some poor sod have their chips stolen by a nearby swooping Seagull. Unfortunately however, having food stolen should be the least of your worries. It’s common knowledge that gulls are known for ruining people’s days, with something so simple and something we take for granted everyday – poo. If you’ve never experienced the embarrassment and shock of being pooed on in public by a Seagull, then you have my utmost respect. Maybe it’s luck, maybe it’s agility and skill that has caused you to narrowly avoid the white-brown liquid that Seagulls excrete, but whatever it is, the rest of us mortals are all very jealous. Is there anything quite as shell shocking and oh so Sussex as having a Seagull poop on your nose whilst walking through Library Square?

We Pledge Our Allegiance To The Slope, Via Geograph

We pledge our allegiance to the slope, via Geograph

2. East Slope is love, East Slope is life

It may not look like much but all Sussex students know that East Slope Bar is the best bar on campus and the jewel in East Slope’s crown. Where else would us students go to waste a few hours with our pals than Campus’s local dive bar? With a pretty decent selection of food, the bar on the slope was where most of us got our nourishment. If you can’t relate to spending 90% of first year in East Slope bar with a Slope Bite then, do you even go here?

Where Is It? Via The Tab

So that’s where people got those Sussex hoodies from… via The Tab

3. Not Knowing The SU Shop Existed Until The End Of First Year

Admit it, you’d heard talk of the Student’s Union Shop sometime within the first week, but it had always remained somewhat allusive. With Co-Op providing for all your pre-drink needs, what use could the SU shop be? When you stumbled upon it, it was a fascinating experience. All Sussex students know that the SU is good for three things: stationary, pick’n’mix and those weird £1 wraps.

What a beautiful site on a Monday at 9am, via Wikimedia Commons

Smells like deadlines, via Wikimedia Commons

4. Getting A Seat In The Library Is Like Getting A Sun Lounger On Holiday

During exam season, those eager studiers amongst you will know that the Library is the only place to be. With deadlines, dissertations and double the amount of work as usual, the library is inevitably going to be full to the brim. Sussex students will know that the tactics for getting a seat at the library are more or less the same as those for getting a sun lounger on holiday, minus the brightly coloured beach towel. If you want a seat in the library, your best best is waking up at the crack of dawn or just moseying on over at 9am if you’re lucky enough to live on campus.

Positively glowing... via Flickriver

Positively glowing… via Flickriver

5. Missing The Last 25 And Ending Up On The N25 For What Feels Like Years

Oh Brighton, you’re so good to us with your 24 hour buses. We’ve never had to experience the struggle of pitching in to pay for an expensive taxi back to campus, yet we still find reason to complain… The N25 still haunts me from my time as a fresher. What Sussex student could forget the smell, the sound, the scare-factor of the N25? Full to the brim of drunk, smelly and (usually) singing students the N25 was the stuff of nightmares. The smell of cheesy chips, undercooked RFC, human body odour and (inevitably) vomit, would be enough to turn anyone green – but us students are resilient. I have to say, despite all this, the worst thing about this bus has to be its route. Just when you think you’re nearing campus, nearly back to the comfort of your warm bed, the N25 takes a left down to the ASDA roundabout… Who even gets off at Vardy Park anyway?

Okay, you got me, this isn't East Slope... via BBC

Okay, you got me, this isn’t East Slope… via BBC

6. Watching The Sunrise From The Slope

Once again, the Slope proved to be the best place on campus. Nothing was better to a Sussex student than sitting up on the slope with a few leftover cans and watching the sunrise after a big night. Bonus points if you did this while sat on an ASDA crate.

Iconic, via ISFA-Butler

Iconic, via ISFA-Butler

7. Taking Photos With The University of Sussex Sign

I’m pretty sure I heard the Chancellor say you don’t get your degree unless you can provide evidence that you’ve taken a picture with this sign… Iconic to say the least, I’d seen this sign a handful of times, but only became aware of its actual location after walking from Falmer Bus Stop in second year. Anyway, there’s not much else to say about this – it’s a sign.

Curse that hill, via Caroline Lucas

Curse that hill, via Caroline Lucas

8. Hating All Your Friends Who Live Up Elm Grove

The beginning of second year meant one thing – seeing where all your pals had chosen to live for their first year free from campus. Ah Elm Grove, you were a popular choice with your beautifully bright houses, wide array of pubs and abundance of free parking – you seemed so perfect. But amongst all Elm Grove has to offer, it also includes a big fat hike up a hill to get there. So, sorry to all of my friends who live in Elm Grove, you’ll be missed.

"You've gotta fight, for your right" via Ceasefire Magazine

“You’ve gotta fight, for your right” via Ceasefire Magazine

9. Seeing Protests Daily But Never Knowing What They’re About

The University of Sussex definitely has a reputation for being politically active and I for one am not ashamed of that. Despite this, with the amount of things people found to protest, it was pretty hard to keep track of who was protesting what. If I were to join in would I be promoting peace in Palestine or to lower the price of pizza at the campus Co-Op? Who knows.

Cheers mate, via The Tab

Cheers mate, via The Tab

10. Never Being On Any Of The Tab’s Lists

Poor Sussex, with our respectable number 19 on the list of best UK unis and our consistent reputation for political justice. Why aren’t we good enough for The Tab? It feels like everyday I see a list of some sort posted on The Tab’s Facebook. “Which Simpsons character is your uni?”, “What would your uni be as a political party?”, “What starter pack is your uni?”, the list goes on! Every time, I scroll through uni after uni, from Royal Holloway to Loughborough to East Anglia, with each mention of unimportant university giving me more and more hope. Yet Sussex rarely shows up. Cheers mate, we’re not bitter…

As good sober as they are when you're drunk, via The Tab

As good sober as they are when you’re drunk, via The Tab

11. Coming Back From A Night Out Early To Catch The Hatch

For times when East Slope bar had kicked out its drunken locals and shut its doors, The Hatch was there to save us from our drunken hunger. The Hatch offered almost all the same food as the bar, but catered even more so to drunk students returning from their nights out. From fried chicken to chip wraps to their shining star, cheesy chips (still some of the best I’ve ever had in Brighton), the Hatch had all you would possibly need, including tampons and tobacco!

Oh how I missed those mismatched chairs, via University of Sussex

Oh how I miss those mismatched chairs, via University of Sussex

12. Spending Forever Queuing For Skint Tuesdays Only To Realise They Aren’t That Skint

Yet another attraction from East Slope Bar, Skint Tuesdays. Seeing queues up the East Slope Car Park every Tuesday night filled my heart with both sadness and joy. There was so much hope in these students’ eyes, looking forward to getting their Fosters for 40p cheaper than usual, but alas who knew if they’d ever get in? It still surprises me that Skint was such an event at Sussex, but then again us Slopers did have simple pleasures. Ah first year…

Damn you Co-Op! via Flickr

Damn you Co-Op! via Flickr

13. Ordering Takeaway Because It Was Cheaper Than Shopping At Co-Op

What better way is there to welcome your poor, debt swamped, overdraft adorned students to campus than with the most expensive Co-Op in the UK? Get ready to gain weight in first year because you will be living off of bar food or takeaways, unless you’re willing to make the trip to Aldi on a daily basis or you live in Swanborough and can afford Ocado deliveries daily.

"Have you met the queen?", via Time Out

“Have you met the queen?”, via Time Out

14. Literally Everyone You Meet Being From London

Being only 60 minutes away from central on the train, it shouldn’t be a surprise that (what feels like) 95% of Sussex students come from London. It’s commonplace in a seminar to hear people chatting about how they’re from “South”, “North” or “just outside” (aka somewhere in Hertfordshire). So if you’re a Sussex student you better get used to Londoners…

1 Comment on 14 Things You’ll Only Know If You’re a University of Sussex Student

  1. brighton born // June 3, 2017 at 5:36 pm // Reply

    That is bear road not elm grove

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