A lot of people are very disappointed when they finally meet the person they have been texting and talking to for weeks. So I started to research and question people after their dates. Why do some dates go so well and others not? Why do some people connect well by text and phone call and then feel no spark on the date?!
Firstly, lets think about what we use to meet people now a days. We used to go to pubs, clubs, house parties, events and meet people in person. We could see how they look, how they carry themselves and how they speak. Now 90% of dates start with meeting online. All you have before the date, is a couple of pictures and some text messages back and forth. We’re all going on a semi blind date. This is probably one of the reasons why people cancel dates so easily. Because to them it’s just a picture inside of their phone that they’ve exchanged a few messages with. We never use to cancel on our dates having already met them in the flesh. Don’t forget, some people have kids and they organise baby sitters and layout money for their date night. So when you cancel, not only did you waste their time, you actually cost them money. We have to remember there is a person on the other side of that phone with feelings and commitments. Even if you haven’t met, it’s still not a nice thing if somebody cancels on you!
Ok enough ranting. The following advice I’m going to give has worked very well for me and my clients. We all have had different experiences. This is just my advice and experience. My first tip is, no lunch time or coffee dates. Now I know a few people would say what’s wrong with a coffee date? In my mind and experience, coffee dates are for business meetings. How are you going to have a nice flirty date or create a connection while having coffee in the middle of the day? People who suggest a coffee date or a lunch date, are normally very busy people. Or they can’t be bothered to invest a full night out with you. That’s just my preference, as soon as somebody suggests a lunchtime- or coffee date, red flags go up for me.
One of the most common question women ask me is if they should let him pay for the dinner or if they should pay half.
My first date suggestions are to meet at a nice bar or a cocktail bar and share a good bottle of wine. Atmosphere is super important. Imagine having a relaxing massage at a building site? That wouldn’t be as relaxing as a massage in a cozy room with relaxing music and burning candles. So it’s very important to have your first date somewhere with a comfortable atmosphere that’s also not too loud so you can hear one another. I like to make the effort to research a lovely place for the date and book a table. Ladies if the guy doesn’t pick the place and you do, there’s nothing wrong with going ahead and booking the table. On my first date, I normally have some question ready. I’m sure there are certain things you know you want in a partner. It’s not all about looks, it’s more about compatibility. So think of questions that could reveal if the person is right for you.
One of the most common question women ask me is if they should let him pay for the dinner or if they should pay half. These days, you don’t have to be a man to earn the most money. However, a women will have to work harder to get there most would say. So it’s all up to you. If women feel more comfortable to pay half for the dinner, they should do so. I would say that if a women knows for a fact that she doesn’t want to meet the guy again then she should offer to pay half of the food. Also, if women offer to pay half, men should respect that, they are an equal after all.
To make your date better I recommend doing a 15 – 20 min phone call a day or two before you meet. How people sound in text is sometimes very opposite to how they are in real life. I would ask for a latest pic a day or two before you meet. The more connection you make before the date, the better the date will go.
The second most common question people ask me is if they should kiss on the firs date. In my opinion if there is a connection, then it’s a 100% yes!! A kiss between 2 people is so important. Who wants to go on 2 or 3 dates and find out you don’t like the way each other kiss!
Ok so these are a few basics that could improve your dating experiences in my opinion. If you have any question or need more info. Feel free to contact me.