As the many noticeboards on Brighton’s Facebook network suggest, Brightonians love to complain particularly about Brighton. In our morning procrastination we stumbled upon ‘FixMyStreet.co.uk‘, a website set up to post minor irritations about your local area. They range far and wide from abandoned bikes to graffiti and all have the underlying tone of people having too much time on their hands. We are here today to reveal the most mundane and ridiculous of them all.
10 – Recycling Bins
This one was mentioned countless times. It is a real problem in the city but one complainant felt particularly cross…”Brighton & Hove City Council do something about this now. Or we will.”
9 – Dogs Barking
This one comes from a disgruntled student and she paints a pretty damning picture. They say they bark all the time, they “literally cannot rest” nor “focus on studies” and that as “soon as you enter the street you can already hear them.” We do feel sorry for them because lack of sleep isn’t nice but surely there’s more you can do than post online.
8 – Weeds
“Loads of weeds and looks a mess!” It’s short and sweet but mundane at it’s best.
7 – Abandoned Bikes
Abandoned bike for over a year tied up to railings outside 23b Buckingham Street” Maybe the person who owned the bike should be a little more concerned than the person posting. Are you the culprit?
6 – “Innovative and Courageous new ‘Belisha Beacon'”
In amongst the complaints and woes of residents we have a joker everybody! This post comes with a whole heap of (questionable) satire. “I wish to commend Brighton & Hove City Council on an innovative and courageous feature of their new cycle lane on the Old Shoreham Road…I presume this was done because it was believed that cyclists would never bother to stop for pedestrians at the crossing, and so the only way to force them to was to physically block their path with a belisha beacon. Cunning.”
5 – Flooding When It Rains
“In rainy weather it floods” For context: there’s a big puddle that appears whenever it rains. This happens everywhere, no? None of us like being splashed by cars in the rain but to post on a forum? Cross the road! Buy some galoshes!
4 – North Laine
“The entrance to North Laine is not as clean as the rest of North Laine.” Why, oh, why has someone taken time out of their day to vent this. So many questions…where’s the entrance to North Laine? How is it messier? Why do the differing messes concern you, dear resident?
3 – Dog ‘Mess’
Never once referred to as ‘poo’ only a mess, dog owners not picking up after their pups is a great concern of Brightonians. One resident even took time to compare the messes on his road and concluded the “poo is identifiable as the same.”
2 – Rotated Signs
Oh no! The sign for the neighbourhood watch has been turned around! What will the neighbourhood do! Wrong facing signs were mentioned a few times for genuine safety concerns but a neighbourhood watch sign? Really?
1 – “Seagull Feeding on a HUGE scale!”
Coming in at our top spot is a “HUGE” problem with feeding gulls. According to this very upset resident, their neighbour comes out to feed “around 10 seagulls between 5am and 7am every morning!” with “whole slices of bread and even a loaf once!”. The seagulls have apparently become a “loud and noisey (sic) mob.” Let’s hope the mafia don’t get wind of Brighton’s newest gang.
We understand that there are legitimate concerns of Brighton & Hove residents on FixMyStreet.com…but c’mon.