A chaotic single party was invented by a woman after years of frustration with a dating app

• Cassidy Davis threw a house party with 65 men she matches with on dating apps, describing it as a “messy singles party”.
• The concept was a success, so Davis continued to host at venues in Los Angeles despite meeting her now-boyfriend at her first gig.
• The welcoming atmosphere includes ice breaker games and heart tokens for guests to give.

Cassidy Davis has spent five years dating single men in Los Angeles and she’s sick of it.

On dating apps, Davis said she would get along with seemingly compatible magicians, actors, writers, and musicians, but she was tired when their personal connections were lackluster or outright disappointing.

“The dumpster fire is how I would describe it,” said Davis, who works as an actor. When Valentine’s Day approached last year, I decided to delete the dating apps and try something completely different.

She asked her friends to invite dating app matches they hadn’t met over to her apartment for a mixer. Afraid no one would show up, Davis invited 65 men she’d been matching with on Tinder and Hinge. Davis introduced TikTok event, which I dubbed “Chaotic Singles Party,” which went viral and garnered 1.7 million likes and over 1,000 comments, many users saying they wanted to join in or throwing their own. And after receiving rave reviews from her guests (including one of her soon-to-be boyfriend), Davis decided to continue throwing lively parties at venues throughout Los Angeles. The concept remains: If you’re going, use it as an opportunity to invite someone you meet on an app but is still a stranger.

Davis said her millennial and Gen Z guests, who typically get to know Chaotic Singles Party on TikTok or Instagram, often tell her how refreshing and welcome the in-person experience feels after years of relying on dating apps to find love. She said she will host 17 parties in 2022, mostly in Los Angeles, and wants to expand to five new cities this year as her social media followers from around the country beg her to throw their own parties.

Davis called her now-boyfriend her first-ever mixer, but she still threw them both

When Davis planned her first party, she said she broke her own rule and invited a handsome man she met at a bar, not on dating apps. She knew she had a crush on him, but didn’t know if the feelings were mutual, so she devised a sneaky plan involving a video confession.

Davis told her guests after propping her phone up in her bathroom, a makeshift private confession-style booth A video she later uploaded to TikTok. In it, she and her boyfriend of one year confess that they love each other.

Even off the market, Davis decided to continue coordinating parties for her single friends and social media followers who loved the concept. Focusing on her guests, rather than her own search for partnership, she said, was an unexpected advantage.

“It kind of allows me to be the wing woman and friend to everyone at these events,” Davis told Insider.

Since her first party, Davis has found ways to make the experience more welcoming. She added icebreaker games, such as question cards asking, “What was the worst date you’ve been on?”

Each guest also gets a “golden heart,” a sticker they give to their best crushes before the night is over.

“Then there’s always that sexy guy covered in golden hearts at the end,” Davis said.

This year, Davis estimates that between 250 and 350 bachelors attended each Chaotic Singles party. She’s hosted social media influencers and spotted a few contestants from the Netflix reality show “The Circle” there, too. Ticket prices ranged from $10 to $85. according to the specified party.

You don’t have to be an extrovert to attend a Chaotic Singles Party

Davis said she’s always been outgoing, so she knew a mixer would feel more fulfilling to her than meeting guys on dating apps.

But for those who are introverted and anxious about matching up with the huge single mixer, Davis said she organized the event to welcome anyone who wants to take a leap of faith to find connections.

Once, she said, a group of single women bought Chaotic Singles Party tickets, thinking it would just make it a pit stop on their nights out. But after heading to bars where it wasn’t clear who was looking for new connections, they headed back to the Davis event for the rest of the night.

They were like, ‘We missed the energy of the singles party where everyone was open. Everyone was welcoming, and even if they weren’t joining us, they were nice and respectful about it.” Whereas in a regular pub it’s a little grittier, more like a jungle,” Davis said.

She said she estimates that half of the attendees are self-described introverts who want to push themselves outside of their comfort zones. For nervous newbies, I suggested treating the event as a social experiment and inviting a cute stranger you meet on a dating app. Even if you don’t click, Davis said, your upbeat energy can nudge you toward other fun connections.

“I feel like actively putting yourself out there opens the door to more dating opportunities. Maybe that’s the woo-woo LA girl in me, but I really believe in that. My best advice is to be bold and get in your comfort zone.”